Unless you are under 16 or emotionally dead inside, do not watch If I Stay.
Here's the thing. It is what it is, right? I didn't pop it in expecting the Earth to shift or my concept of space and time to alter. I did expect some sort of acting by the lead character.
No, I'm not looking up her name. The Abigail Breslin lookalike. She doesn't even get her name typed here.
No emotional affect whatsoever.
Does she look in love here? Nope. She looks like her older brother is teaching her how to ride a bike with no hands.
HELLLLLLOOOOOOOO YOU'RE A TEENAGER IN LOVE AND THEN THIS LIFE CHANGING EVENT HAPPENS AND ALL YOU'RE GIVING ME IS A FURROWED EYEBROW AND A SMIRK????!???!?!?
Her horrible acting creeps up on you. The voiceovers are kitchy, but I afford the genre its formula. There's good acting by all support actors, the filmography is on point - there's even some good lines.
Her dad quips, "Guilts and bribes are the glue that have kept parents and teenagers connected for generations. Don't mess with the system." I thought that was pretty catchy.
And of course Adam dishes out all the dreamy boyfriend one liners and monologues you could hope for.
I think that's what annoyed me the most. I'm sitting there a good hour into the movie, and I realized out of nowhere that it WASN'T okay. In fact, it stunk. In fact, it was awful. In fact, I couldn't believe that noone on the production team, no key grip, no stylist hadn't done A THING to keep this travesty from happening. Confused and concerned, I asked Jen what it was. We sat in silence while "Mia" talked to herself, and finally had the joint epiphany that IT. WAS. HER.
"Like, Oh No and stuff."
I blame the director. She wasn't mature enough for the role. She didn't have any chemistry - with her love interest, with her friends, with her family. It was all D list acting on her part, and the shadow of her suckage loomed over everything that was good until there was nothing left.
Really, I think that's why I'm ranting. There is no doover here. If I Stay has no chops to lean on for a remake, and the concept has already been toyed with by Hollywood to a played-out point. With Rom-Coms and Dramas giving way to Suspense and Action more every year, I was so excited to sit back and just indulge in this movie.
Instead, I sit here angry and unmoved.
HEIDI, who cries at So You Think You Can Dance, didn't shed a tear or even whimper during this entire movie.
Sorry this review probably doesn't tell you anything more than that I am angry with the director and the main actress and everyone who didn't do anything to keep this film from happening. But if I've kept someone from being disappointed, that's good enough for me.
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